Friday, June 8, 2012

EPIC Random Writing

This is another Random Writing I did with a Facebook status and people commenting on it with a subject for me to comment on and then I compiled all of my comments together. Enjoy!

My mother comes up with the most random shit ever for me to write about. Toilet paper has many uses, it's a wonder the peeps over in 'Nam can go without it. Chuck Norris, as it's been pointed out by Trent, can't even begin to fathom my awesomeness. Gandhi is a guy who I don't know much about. An aglet is a small plastic or metal sheath typically used on each end of a shoelace, cord, or drawstring. Pens are great for making things colorful when you write. The meaning of life is 42. Coconut Pound Cake just doesn't sound good because it has coconut in it. Peeing is always good, especially in the middle of the night when you have a very full bladder. 69 is the most sexual of all numbers. Fish are things you can catch in a lake and then clean for eating. Gravity is the reason we are all here. Mariocart is a very addicting game. Clearly the chicken came first and just magically appeared before laying the egg. But wait, how do we know the egg didn't magically appear before hatching a chicken? Eh...it could go either way. Band kids gone wild makes for one fucked up family that is hella confusing. Cornucopia is a symbol of abundance and nourishment. If your aorta goes out, you're kinda screwed. A screwdriver can either be a flathead or a Phillips head; it's good to know the difference so you don't look like a moron when trying to fix something. A polynomial is something I will never use in my real life. Ever. Star Trek is a television show that I haven't watched and that I used to think was a copycat of Star Wars before I found out that it was made long before Star Wars. Dark Shadows is a vampire movie where Johnny Depp is a vampire who doesn't sparkle! Sandals are the only open toed shoes that are actually shoes unlike those imitation flip flop things. A corncob tastes way better than corn by itself. People who see the Basilisk in Harry Potter will be petrified, so long as they don't look it in the eye. An onomatopoeia is not only a fun word to say, but it is the word for sound words, which are really fun say! A cork can used to close a bottle of wine. Velcro is this really loud annoying sticking device that can be used instead of shoe laces. Pants are always good and people are luck that I remember them when I'm tired. A scalping knife is used to scalp dead people's heads, which is kinda creepy in its own right. A dress is something women wear, but also men, but men should do so only if they are a Drag Queen, like in “To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar” - the best Drag Queen movie ever! Rainbow occur after rain sometimes. They also represent gay pride, which is totally rad. A sword is a really long knife. A caterpillar is the ancestor of a butterfly. In a recliner, you can lean back and put your feet on the foot rest unlike with an armchair. Freddy vs. Jason is a very cheesy horror movie so cheesy that it's hilarious! Jason vs. Michael Myers would be pretty epic and I don't think a battle between them would ever end because neither of them ever die. Godzilla vs. King Kong sounds kinda interesting and I would pay to see it. Chuck Norris vs. Jackie Chan would be a mega epic battle where lots of ass kicking would occur. Simon Cowell is one of the biggest douchebags ever, but he is hilarious with his sarcastic comments! Paula Deen is an American cook, cooking show host, restaurateur, author, actress and Emmy Award-winning television personality. The cerebellum is a region of the brain that plays an important role in motor control. Nail polish sometimes pollutes the air of the Andover High School newsroom and make my nose wrinkle. 23 is the number after 22 and before 24. 1985 was a common year starting on a Tuesday that was designated as the Youth Year by the United Nations. No I don't speak Espanol, I speak English. Portugal is a country situated in southwestern Europe on the Iberian Peninsula. Portugal is the westernmost country of mainland Europe, and is bordered by the Atlantic Ocean to the west and by Spain to the North and East. Noodles and pasta are both really good foods and often, noodles are the pasta. The Count of Monte Cristo has way too many damn charcters in it, which makes it very confusing. A cowbell is a bell by freely roaming livestock, so that they do not run away or wander off without being heard.

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